One pattern we’ve often seen in our clients (and lived ourselves) is feeling like our partner needs us in order to feel OK. This can start to feel like a burden, especially if it’s a constant pattern.
The truth is, it is each partner’s responsibility to tend to their nervous systems and be able to regulate their emotions enough to be able to regularly come to the relationship with presence and energy.
But what do you do when someone’s going through a hard time, or they’ve gotten used to leaning on you for support? This kind of thing can affect a dating or long-term relationship, and it tends to impact everything in your dynamic (including the sex).
Here, we go through the ins and outs of this pattern, including its origins and how you can start to address it proactively with a love partner.
Memorable quotes from this episode:
- “When she was feeling down, she needed a lot of support and attention from me.”
- “One partner can often keep giving and giving and giving and get burnt out.”
- “One of the benefits of relationship is co-regulation.”
- “She felt rejected because I needed to take space.”
- “It’s fair to say, ‘I need you to have meaningful support outside the relationship in order to feel secure in our connection.'”