What do you do when aspects of your long-term relationship work, but your sex life is DOA? Sex therapists define a sexless marriage as one in which the couple has sex 10 times a year or fewer — in other words, just under once a month. If you're in this position, it can feel hopeless. You can feel deprived and helpless and lacking in intimacy, unsure of what to do or where to go. What if, while your sex life sucks, you're great co-parents, raising wonderful children together? The fear of what could happen in a breakup (which might be a divorce) can often lead to a certain kind of paralysis. Here we discuss the hope behind the heartbreak; what to do if you're in this position and the elements of polarity that can bring a couple's sex life back from the brink; and what we've seen in the clients who've made it through to the other side.