When you were growing up, did you have a host of great role models when it came to how to be a good man?
No, probably not. The vast majority of men with whom we work lacked solid role models for healthy masculinity, both at home and at school. This damaged their ability to succeed in dating, relationships, and sex, and led to a lot of suffering.
Scott Kaltenbaugh is working to change that. He’s in the school system working in the classroom as well as doing one-on-one mentorship with boys and young men. The goal is to teach them how to be “a calm but assured version of masculinity.”
But how do you do that? What do you teach, and how do you describe what it is to wield power? Listen for a fascinating view into an inspiring potential future for us as a culture. (Also, if you have sons or may have sons in the future, this one will be of particular interest to you.)
Memorable quotes from this episode:
- “I was starting to see so much toxic masculinity I started to devalue my own masculinity.”
- “These boys don’t get shown possibilities — it’s just, ‘Don’t be these things.’”
- “I started to see how much harm our boys are facing.”
- “I can’t control what the world does to me, but I can control how I meet that.”
- “Emotion are tools. They’re important.”
- “Power is our ability to meet and shape the world around us.”
- “Sometimes it’s important to bond shoulder-to-shoulder; sometimes it’s important to bond face-to-face.”
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Mentioned on the episode
- Scott’s program, the Inspiring Men Project, and his own site
- This is Your Moment (program to stop rape)
- RAINN (Rape & Incest National Network) — free, confidential chat-based support for anyone who has experience any form of sexual assault
- Sacred Sonz — virtual and in-person support for boys and teens