Seduction

The last time I was seduced he said almost nonchalantly, “Why don’t you take off your shoes?” Honestly, at that exact moment, I didn’t realize what was going on. I thought it was a strange request, given he didn’t normally care whether I had my shoes off in his house. Then he said, “And why don’t you go check out the upstairs bedroom?”

So I did, grinning, and he followed me.

The sex was great. And I thoroughly enjoyed getting seduced, even if it didn’t take long for him to do it … seduction is all about implication. And desire.

When I think seduction, I traditionally think of stripteases. They can be the perfect blend of sexy but flirty, and a fun way to slowly build tension.

However, I have only done a striptease for men twice in my life. And I’m a dancer. I’m good at it. But even with my dance background and my relatively good body image, I’ve hesitated to offer myself in that way – even to men I know well and am in some kind of relationship with (even if it’s not exclusive). Why?

Fear.

At its heart, seduction is a risk. What if the person says no? What if they don’t want us? What if they think what we’re doing is silly (like a striptease if we think we’re not good dancers), or clichéd (like whipped cream) or just plain dumb? What if, in other words, it doesn’t work?

In fact, most of the time it does work, especially if the intent is to have a good time and feel your own sexuality, regardless of the response of the other person. But sometimes it can be hard to get past that.

Both times I did manage to do a striptease, it was a raging success. The first time, I never would have actually gone through with it unless the guy in question had discovered that I’d been thinking about stripping for him all day. He wouldn’t let me get away with not doing it – as in, he strongly encouraged me. I had a few excuses (wrong clothing, no music), but he assured me my clothing was JUST FINE and procured music as quickly as possible.

The second time was part of a sexual scene my friend had set up for her boyfriend. There were three women involved and we all did some form of sexy dancing.

Mine was a full-on striptease with fishnets, garters, and sky-high heels that never came off despite the fact that basically everything else did. But I wasn’t terribly nervous because a) I already knew her boyfriend, b) I already knew her boyfriend was into me (we were all very open – there was no subterfuge or cheating here; everyone knew everything), and c) she was the one who’d had set it up – there was little risk in terms of my own going for it.

Personally, I’ve always wanted to do a striptease for the man mentioned at the beginning, who has seduced me on occasion. But I’m afraid. Here are a few of the things I’m afraid of, in order of bad to TERRIBLE:

3. It will be really awkward because I’ll be nervous and it won’t really produce the mood I’m looking for (not that likely)
2. He’ll look away because it’s not interesting enough (unlikely)
1. He’ll laugh at me (extremely unlikely, but a big fear!)

Seriously, I’m terrified that someone (him, but others as well) will either laugh at me, or it will be awkward or I’ll fall or some other retarded thing will happen and then I’ll just feel awful.

Most of these are false fears and I know it. If someone were to do something like this for me, I’d think it was incredibly sweet, if not hot. If it were hot, that’d be great, but even if it weren’t, it would still work because I’d be so into it. So why not take a risk and do something a little bit different? What’s holding us all back from being more seductive? Plus, isn’t part of the point of seduction that there is risk involved, that there’s a certain amout of uncertainty?

 

Also, doing a striptease is just one way of seducing someone.

It is equally as erotic to go out to dinner and before the appetizer is served, lean over consipiratorially to inform him that in fact, you’re not wearing any panties. (If you do happen to still be wearing said panties, you can always just excuse yourself at that very moment to go to the ladies room and stuff your thong into your purse).

Oh, oops, did you happen to catch a glimpse of that? My humble apologies...

You could also surprise a man at work wearing garters over your regular work clothes. Tell him to lock his office door (or not) and bend over right there at his desk. He’ll probably go wild.

By the way, wearing garters is also a tremendously fun way to make the day go by faster … every time you go to the bathroom you get this incredibly hot view in the mirror (you have to wait surreptitiously until everyone else isn’t there and then turn around and show yourself off to yourself … trust me, this is AWESOME). I also remember riding the subway the last time I was in garters feeling like I had a sexy secret. I couldn’t help looking around at everyone in the subway thinking, “You’d really like to see what I have under this skirt …”

Or you could send him a text that says, “I feel like being bad tonight.” That alone is bound to get someone’s pulse going, and counts as a type of seduction – especially if you refuse to elaborate.

Using a blindfold is ALWAYS sexy (you can improvise with a tie if you don’t have an actual blindfold), particularly when paired with any kind of tactile sensation. This includes taking a piece of velvet or a particularly soft scarf you own and rubbing it over someone’s skin in tantalizing places, or using ice in creative ways. One of the most erotic experiences I’ve ever had took place on a hot summer night with a quickly melting bucket of ice…

What would your imagination come up with if you allowed it to run wild with scenarios of seduction? What would your fantasies manifest if there were no risk and you knew it would all go off perfectly (pun intended), and whom would be the object of your desire?

Or perhaps the most important question is, how would you want to be seduced?